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Gay Marriage – Why I Oppose it

November 7, 2008

This is an issue that I have struggled with for years.

I have gay friends, and it was difficult for me to come to the conclusion that I don’t think homosexual couples should get married. There has been a sense of betrayal on my part. How can I be friends with these people (amazing, funny, wonderful, caring people) and not believe they should marry?

That is the question I have failed over and over again to answer for myself. I knew what I believed, but WHY did I believe it? I found myself avoiding the issue at all costs, because I didn’t want to lie about what I believed, but if I told the truth undoubtedly someone would ask me why, and I had no answer.

But after years, I have figured out what it is that prompts me to believe gay people shouldn’t have the title of “married couple.”

It’s starts with the issue of “where does it end?” I’m not talk about people marrying goats or whatever other ridiculous notions people come up with to backup their belief that gay people shouldn’t marry.

We already have restrictions on marriage. I can’t marry my brother, and I can’t marry more than one man, just like I can’t marry another woman.

But what if I were in love with my brother? What if I found myself in love with more than one man, and they both wanted to marry me? Should I be permitted to marry them? I don’t think many would say yes. But many would be outraged if I wasn’t allowed to marry a woman.

So many people believe that gay marriage is a step in the right direction…that it’s progressive, and it will mean we live in a more tolerant society, but I don’t believe so.

Gay marriage will signal an erosion to the traditional marriage union. This union between a man and a woman is one of the most important pieces of the puzzle that keeps civil society together. One man and one woman come together, they form a family, and society continues. This is why there are state and federal benefits to being married…because in a general sense, the government needs these unions to continue in order for society to continue. If you have no society…then what will the government have to govern?

And that’s what it boils down to…this is why gay marriage simply doesn’t make sense.

It’s not that I don’t believe two men or two women can’t fall in love, because I do. But their unions are not a benefit to society as a whole…like it or not. Their unions will never produce the traditional family that keeps our society in tact.

Having said that, just because I am opposed to gay marriage, does not mean that I am opposed to the people themselves. It’s not even that I “tolerate” them as so many people like to say. There is nothing to tolerate. They’re just people who have chosen a different way of life than I have. Simple as that.

But they and others needs to realize that it isn’t personal. They aren’t being punished. It’s not oppression. It’s not a refusal of rights.

Marriage is limited in this country in many ways, and that is one of them. Our country (for the time being) still understands the necessity of the traditional marriage for the propagation of society.

And I will continue oppose gay marriage based on that fact. I know people will hate me for it…and that is their choice. I just hope they understand that I don’t hate them. It’s just my opinion.

~T the D

8 Comments leave one →
  1. November 7, 2008 2:20 pm

    There is, in fact, logic and reason behind opposition to gay marriage, though you’ll never hear the mainstream press try to tackle it.It goes back to why marriage was created, which was to formally acknowledge the one and only way of perpetuating the human race.Now, of course, we have in vitro, egg transplants, sperm banks, and all kinds of technical innovations that make it possible to procreate outside of the strictly-through-nature configuration of one-man-plus-one-woman equals procreation.The question is whether “Marriage” is now considered necessary and relevant. Those of us who believe in the original institution don’t recognize the legitimacy of an arrangement that is not between one man and one woman.To say that marriage should be otherwise is to try and deny what nature gave us, and who we are by birth – if we want to redefine that, and pretend that we are something else, I suppose that’s our right as a society – but there are many more of us that believe in marriage as it exists, and don’t see any validity in conferring the same status on same-sex couples, who cannot, by their very nature, conceive a child on their own.I am not embarrassed or ashamed by this conclusion, and as much as I like my gay friends, I don’t believe that this is an issue of rights or civil rights – it’s about the definition of what makes procreation possible.You may argue that there are many gay couples who would be far better parents than those who were in no position to raise children, but that misses the point – you may wish you could create children by nature, but without male sperm combined with female egg, it simply can’t happen.Gay marriage is an attempt to redefine human beings, and there are many more of us who don’t wish to strip marriage of its orginal meaning, which is what gay marriage does – that’s not even to mention the inevitable issues that follow, such as marriage to animals, objects, relatives, and tax-free status being yanked from churches that don’t recognize gay marriage.So stick to your guns. Since gay people can’t procreate, they’re unlikely to outnumber the rest of us anytime soon!

  2. Christopher Wiseman permalink
    November 7, 2008 3:23 pm

    Thanks for the Drunk Elephant! I’m enjoying reading your blogs and I’m now considering forcing my kids into a paperchain project lol. Seriously though I think that this is a wonderful explanation and apparently California is not as I had thought completely devoid of a rational thinking electorate. Keep the blogs coming!

  3. Anonymous permalink
    November 7, 2008 3:31 pm

    Just where do we stop with “this and this can be married because of love”?

  4. T the D permalink
    November 7, 2008 3:37 pm

    Christopher, thanks for the comment! I’m really kicking myself for not having some kids right now…they’d be perfect slave labor for this freaking construction paper chain project I’ve got myself into! About 300 chains into it last night I wondered what it would look like if I died that very second and my loved ones found me surrounded by strips of construction paper…I will keep these blogs comin’ at ya, don’t you worry. I’m considering this my alternative to the nickle freak shows of the Great Depression…we’re just as interesting (albeit a bit more frightening) but you don’t have to leave your house to enjoy it!Is it too soon to start considering myself a gift to the world? 😛 ~T the D

  5. Sam permalink
    November 8, 2008 9:48 am

    Hi. This is a reaction to a lot of your more recent posts. Ive been reading your blog for a few days now. Im not from America, but from Europe. My believes are very different from yours. I think everybody should be aloud their opinion, but your opinions scare me a little. Ive been reading your hate filled posts about Obama. He is just a man who is trying to stand up for what he believes in. Like McCain. And theres nothing wrong with that. Even John McCain feels that way, judging by his speech on election night. I was personally rooting for Obama, like almost all of the rest of the world. For a great reason, he shows compassion, empathy and intelligence.This doesn’t mean I hate John McCain. He seems like a great guy. He just didn’t represent what I stand for. And Obama struck me as the more intelligent of the two. Besides that, their choices for vice president could’t be further apart. Joe Biden an intelligent man versus an utterly stupid woman, chosen only because the republicans where hoping she could take the votes Hillary got in the primary’s. It was so obvious for us, watching from a distance. Not hearing the insults, but merely facts. Africa is a continent. You knew that right? well, McCains choice for vp didn’t! How is this possible? Someone that claimed to have the best credentials for international relations! It was amusing to us. And most of us are extremely happy with America’s choice!I don’t mean to offend you. I’m just sharing my opinion.And gay marriage… It didn’t come as a surprise to me that you oppose it, what struck me was the fact that you needed to look for reasons for being against gay marriage. Did you really wanna be against it so bad? Even though you apparently know great people that are gay and that want the same rights as straight people. As for your comparison to marrying your brother… That makes as much sense as marrying a goat. It’s something completely different. Gay marriage is the same thing as a straight marriage, the only difference is the gender. Are you opposed to inter racial marriage too? Cause thats seems like the same thing. Not only as gay marriage, but the same as a same race straight marriage. Why would you steel an experience that precious from someone, gay, straight, black, white, disabled, whoever! Its not taking anything from your experience if they’re aloud to get married. It won’t make you any less of a person and it won’t make your marriage any less of a marriage if other people get to experience it as well. I guess what I’m trying to say is, it won’t affect you in any way. Why would you be against other peoples happiness?I’m sorry if I spelled words incorrectly. English is not my native language. And I didn’t mean to offend you. I just hope that you find peace in having Obama as your president. And I sincerely hope that you will still be able to see the changes he will make, once he does. And your vision won’t be blurred with so much resistence anymore.I hope you have a good day.

  6. T the D permalink
    November 8, 2008 10:15 am

    Oh Sam…where do I even begin? So I’m the one who scares you? Laughable. Barack Hussein Obama hides his past, lies, cheats, associates with terrorists, radicals and hate-mongers – and I’M the one to be feared? Ridiculous! Opne your eyes . The only reason you think my posts are hate-filled, is because you don’t agree with me. That’s fine, I know not everyone will share my views, but don’t accuse me of hatred. I know I get heated, but this is a hot topic. I am not, however, exhibiting hatred toward anyone.I’m just curious as to how you know almost all the rest of the world was rooting for Obama. There are PLENTY of people who recognize him for what he is, and were pulling for the other guy. Unless you’ve polled the entire planet, don’t make ridiculous comments like that. You must have been watching only what the biased media was spoon-feeding you, because if you had bothered to find out any of the real facts at all, we wouldn’t be having this discussion. Joe Biden is intelligent, and Sarah Palin is “utterly stupid.” That comments is only one of many that confirms YOUR ignorance. Joe Biden didn’t know who was president during the Great Depression…and he didn’t even know they didn’t have TV. That is a FACT. He said it during a Katie Couric interview. His list of gaffes grew to such lengths that toward the end of the race, they would barely even let him out of his cage. Sarah Palin on the other hand showed grace, dignity, determination, and yes, INTELLIGENCE. Are you aware that the now infamous “Africa” comment has come from “unnamed” sourced and is nothing more than political gossip? Thanks for spewing crap that is only worthy of page10 of the National Inquirer. Gay Marriage – You missed entirely the point I was trying ot make. And you simply don’t get it. Perhaps a gay marriage won’t directly affect ME…but it does affect society as a whole, and our future. I didn’t talk about religion or whether it was right or wrong to be gay, or whether it was a choice or not. Those issues mean nothing to me. But the continuation of this society does. Gay marriage errodes the traditional institution, and THAT is not fair to everyone else. Chew on that. I honestly respect that you have a different opinion, but you need to do your homework. Don’t sit over in Europe believing you have the answers about the United States of America unless you TRULY understand the facts and how things work. ~T the D

  7. sam permalink
    November 8, 2008 11:18 am

    Ehm. I think you misunderstood me. I think your opinions are scary not you. I don’t know you. And you don’t know me.Actually there have been quite a few polls about the opinions of countries outside of America. And indeed most of us non-americans were in favor of Obama.And You’re right, I don’t agree with you. At all. That’s not the reason I said your posts are hate filled though. You have accused Obama of quite a few things. “socialist” “obama supporters don’t have a job anyway”, the mellon picture. Hahaha! Not hate filled you say…? And I’m influenced by biased media? I suppose you know all these people in person and are not influenced by media at all.Still it’s your opinion and thats ok. Im just sharing mine. Im thinking maybe your response is not directed at me, but at the fact that I’m saying something you don’t agree with. Something you’re accusing me of. I didn’t comment to start a fight. But it’s becoming clearer to me that you might be in for one. And I’m not.I still wish you the best.Ow btw, i live in a country where gay marriage has been allowed for a while now. And all it did was make people happy. Thats all it did.

  8. T the D permalink
    November 8, 2008 11:27 am

    Sam, you honestly expect me to hear that my OPINIONS are scary and not take that personally? Afterall, aren’t our opinions a huge part of what make us who we are? Can you provide me with the polls you’re referring to? If not, stop citing them. And you obviously have no idea what the concept of sarcasm is. I try to inject a bit of humor here and there, and if you find that hateful, so be it. I’m not the kind of person who is going to be held back by political correctness or the desire to make everyone happy.I’m telling the truth, because in some small way it makes me feel better to have put it out there. I’m not “fighting” with you. I’m simply answering you Sam. When you come here and make accusations like you have, then I have no choice but to back myself up. As for gay marriage…I do believe it will errode society. Maybe not this year, or the next, or in the next 50, but it WILL errode it nonetheless. You cannot expect to stomp on the union that keeps our society going and have it continue to flourish the way it has. ~T the D

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