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Clearly I won’t be working for Barack Hussein Obama

November 14, 2008

I’m reading through the ridiculous questionnaire that has to be filled out by anyone wishing to work for the Obama Administration.

I’m not sure if this sort of thing is a standard practice, but that doesn’t make it any less ridiculous.

I read to question number 20, chuckling to myself, and then I was struck with sweet hot taste of irony:

20. Other than the entities identified in questions 15-19 above, please provide the names and details of any individuals and organizations with which you or your spouse have been associated with which might present a conflict of interest with your proposed federal office, or have the potential for embarrassment.

Interesting that man with ties to ACORN, Bill Ayers, Louis Farrakhan, Father Pfleger, Rashid Khalidi, and Jeremiah Wright would be concerned about someone else’s associations. What happened to not being guilty by association? I guess that only applies when you’re the Obamessiah.

And THEN I reached number 45, which asks if you have been investigated by any law enforcement agency. At the end, they generously allow you exclude traffic offenses for which the fine was less than $50. Oh no…you wouldn’t want to miss finding out someone got a $65 fine for going 50 in a 35. Not that I’d know anything about that…

It only get better though. There is an entire section devoted to questions about domestic help!

53. Do you presently have or have you in the past had occasional (to be sure, a monthly housekeeper is covered) or regular domestic help? (e.g., a housekeeper, babysitter, nanny, or gardener) If yes, please indicate the name and years of service for each individual and also provide a brief description of the services rendered.

The rest of the questions go on to ask about citizenship and taxes. Now…I get it, they want to make sure you haven’t been employing illegals or paying people under the table…but COME ON. Who pays taxes on their friggin babysitter for God’s sake?

And then we get the big wammy…the question that I feel says a lot about our president-elect:

59. Do you or any members of your immediate family own a gun? If so, provide complete ownership and registration information. Has the registration ever lapsed? Please also describe how and by whom it is used and whether it has been the cause of any personal injuries or property damage.

Well you know…The Obamessiah has to weed out the gun-clingers. Wouldn’t want any of those hanging around.

In all seriousness, what is the relevance of such a question? I don’t think they want gun-owners working for them, because that would put quite a crimp in the plans to infringe on our second amendment right.

So how do you think you’d do if you had to answer those 63 questions? I know for sure I wouldn’t pass! I’m not sure I’d want to know anyone who could…

~T the D

2 Comments leave one →
  1. The Ripley Porch permalink
    November 15, 2008 5:11 am

    If I had my 63 questions and I were president-dude:1. Can you name all fifty states and their capitals?2. Explain the concept of the bill of rights.3. Name any neighbor who borrowed stuff but never returned it.4. Identify five presidents since 1900.5. Are you saving energy by using twenty-two times the amount of power that a normal American family uses?6. What should you do when bitten by a rattlesnake?7. Who won WWI and WWII?8. Isn’t Brittney Spears the most beautiful woman in the world? (Yes or no only)9. Should Lance Armstrong run the 2009 Tour de France?10. Hank Williams or Elvis, who was better in the end?11. The Pacer, was it the worst car ever made?12. Should Zombies be declared authorized voters?13. Should Brittney Spears play Joan of Arc for Mel Gibson?14. Is Elvis truly dead?15 If you made any public speeches….were any directed toward circus folks, dwarfs, Texans, or abstract art?16. Have you ever been in Memphis, New Orleans, or St. Louis (negative points if you have)17. Do you keep at least six guns in your house or car? (bonus points if yes)18. Do you believe in Bigfoot, Loch Nessie and aliens? (bonus points if yes)19. If you had to dig a septic tank, would you call a cousin or a neighbor for help?20. Have you ever paid more than $19,999 for a car? Cite the model and brand if yes.21. Would you pay $350k for a $240k house? (negative points if yes)22. Would you toss out forty percent of your paycheck to cover a mortgage?23. Would you buy a $300k house with only $30k in down payment?24. Who was the best Bond?25. Have you ever been in a Wal-Mart? (Negative points, if no)26. Explain in detail any speech that Alan Greenspan has given (positive points, if you can’t)27. Where is Gitmo?28. Show a 8×10 photo of any tatto on your body or your wife’s body (in color please)29. Provide all of the names of your dogs that you’ve owned since 1988.30. Describe on a plain piece of paper your feelings toward Tonga.31. Do you know anyone from Red Bay, Alabama?32. Provide a listing of friendships and girlfriends, since 1978. Use red ink if they are former friends now.33. Which weighs more? A ton of bananas or a ton of peanuts?34. Which StarTrek commander would you prefer to be Janeway, Kirk or Picard?35. Have you ever shopped QVC?36. Have you ever watched wrestling?37. Have you ever forgotten your wife’s birthday?39. If you lived in a dry county, would you honor the laws of that county?40. If your minister was a nutcase, would you be willing to say that in public?41. If a bunch of union cars and US car makers came up to you and asked for $50 billion…would you ask why they can’t make cars that folks want or just hand them the $50 billion?42. Does it bother you that the car union guys get $17 million a year in Viagra, which is built into the cost of every single car made?43. Do you have a problem with burning leaves in October in your front yard?44. Have you ever bought a mower that you felt very dissatisfied with?45. If Tab was the only drink left on the face of the earth….would you accept it and drink it?46. On a hot day…cold beer or cold wine cooler?47. Whats your belt size?48. Can you cook up your own breakfast?49. If a bunch of Harvard/Princeton/Yale/Colombia business school graduates came to you and said they had bankrupted America…would you halt the entire business school program at these four universities?50. How many times should a guy be allowed to vote on election day in America?51. Do you know any hippies?52. Do you mow your own grass?53. Are there any true explanations to putting a septic tank in the front yard instead of the back yard?54. Is Keith Olbermann of MSNBC a dope?55. Give five good reasons why any guy should stay 30 years in the Senate.56. Have you ever dated a deranged man or woman?57. When was the last time you attended a county fair?58. Do you know any women who wear a blouse a size too small?59. If you needed help…who would not call and why?60. If you had to talk real personal to someone….would you do it on the front porch or the back porch?61. Why do most Democrats take money from bankers and most Republicans from oil companies?62. Can you point to Mongolia on the map?63. Are you a forgiving kinda guy or a revengeful kind of guy?

  2. T the D permalink
    November 15, 2008 9:57 am

    63 questions I happen to find quite relevant 🙂 Although I always have a hard time listing the 50 states. For some reason Missouri ALWAYS escapes my memory. But what’s weird is that I know it always escapes my memory, so why is it that when I have to list the states I don’t remember it? Chew on THAT for a while! ~T the D

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