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Uterus: Armed and Dangerous

December 17, 2008

If you’re a man…you will just never understand this…and even some women won’t…but having a uterus is sometimes like having a terrorist living amongst your other internal organs.

A hateful, destructive, and demoralizing terrorist…and that is why I have started to refer to my Uterus as “Habib.”

I believe Habid has armed himself (yes, my uterus is masculine…I don’t know why) and is taking my other internal organs hostage.

Habib obviously hates me…and has one goal: To make my life miserable.

Even when Habib isn’t on a rampage against the rest of his fellow organs – he’s constantly telling my brain “must have babies…MUST HAVE BABIES.”

Habib has made the sight of a baby almost painful. Sometimes even the sight of baby clothes is tough. And it’s all Habib’s fault.

In addition, Habib has made the 2 foot radius around my body completely hostile. Anyone who enters this zone is in a state of danger, and extreme caution should be used.

I warn you…I cannot be held responsible for my words or actions when Habib has control. And right now…he’s wielding it like a frigging mad man.

~T the D

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